i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
My life is pants optional.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize
