found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
Randomize
