Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
