problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
I think im going to throw up on grandma
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
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