Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
Randomize
