I can't watch pbs sober anymore
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
