sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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