I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.