Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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