glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
Randomize
