I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
She even gives head with a lisp.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
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