thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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