ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
Got drunk and tried to deep fry burritos. Turns out wild turkey isn't a good replacement for vegetable oil. Nearly burned my house down.
Sober people should be as daring as drunk people more often, because honestly the fact you’ve lived so long is a sign that anything is possible.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
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