can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Randomize
