I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Randomize
