He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
Girls should come with a carfax report
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
Randomize
