I wish i was in the wii world.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
Randomize
