I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize