my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
I need to calm my uterus...
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
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