I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
We are two peas in an std pod
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
