Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
He? As in you personified your dick?
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
