Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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