It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
Randomize
