We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
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