just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
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