this beer tastes like vomit already
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
