A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
