Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
Randomize