She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Randomize
