were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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