Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(248): View more from Michigan

god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time

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(940): View more from Texas

I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.

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(917): View more from New York City

The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.

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(715): View more from Wisconsin

There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.

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Read it at the TFLN blog
(513): View more from Ohio

I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny

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(563): View more from Iowa

Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session

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(559): View more from California

Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational

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(716): View more from New York

Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.

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(306): View more from Saskatchewan

then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.

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