I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?