Texts From Last Night

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  (434): View more from Virginia

  Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.

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  (434): Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future. http://tfl.nu/4ejh
  Replies (32) Good night (1723) Bad night (3960)
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  (615): View more from Tennessee

  New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs

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  (615): New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs http://tfl.nu/ycoz
  Replies (29) Good night (6422) Bad night (706)
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.

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  (412): Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way. http://tfl.nu/rfmc
  Replies (18) Good night (4238) Bad night (713)
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  (630): View more from Illinois

  Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?

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  (630): Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to? http://tfl.nu/fqx3
  Replies (52) Good night (8677) Bad night (1321)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.

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  (303): It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac. http://tfl.nu/tpbw
  Replies (28) Good night (1282) Bad night (12875)
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  (304): View more from West Virginia

  just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.

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  (304): just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement. http://tfl.nu/6va8
  Replies (20) Good night (4813) Bad night (1004)
• Favorite

  (305): View more from Florida

  I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.

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  (305): I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me. http://tfl.nu/06ls
  Replies (21) Good night (5567) Bad night (2132)
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  (619): View more from California

  It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.

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  (619): It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth. http://tfl.nu/0yym
  Replies (7) Good night (3414) Bad night (1050)
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  (609): View more from New Jersey

  I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.

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  (609): I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments. http://tfl.nu/kh7m
  Replies (6) Good night (1574) Bad night (1241)
• Favorite

  (903): View more from Texas

  Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.

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  (903): Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning. http://tfl.nu/i0lg
  Replies (6) Good night (3097) Bad night (1076)
• Favorite

  (920): View more from Wisconsin

  The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking

  (920): View more from Wisconsin

  All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo

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  (920): The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking (920): All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo http://tfl.nu/eenc
  Replies (9) Good night (2270) Bad night (888)
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  (+61): View more from Australia

  i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..

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  (+61): i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history.. http://tfl.nu/iskw
  Replies (9) Good night (2208) Bad night (769)
• Favorite

  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  ur mom makes the best bacon

  (1-570): View more from Pennsylvania

  WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE

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  (570): ur mom makes the best bacon (1-570): WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE http://tfl.nu/0ryx
  Replies (14) Good night (3804) Bad night (705)
• Favorite

  (816): View more from Missouri

  Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.

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  (816): Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours. http://tfl.nu/2v78
  Replies (2) Good night (1399) Bad night (445)
• Favorite

  (214): View more from Texas

  He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.

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  (214): He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate. http://tfl.nu/z3en
  Replies (7) Good night (950) Bad night (345)

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