i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Randomize
