I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Randomize
