I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
