Screwed.edu
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
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