the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
