i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
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