Operation Purity has been aborted
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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