I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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