u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
he fucked my hip out of place.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
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