Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
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