I'm eating all of the evidence.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Randomize
