She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
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