I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Randomize
