...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
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