These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Randomize
