he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Randomize
