I faked an abortion last night.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize
