i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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