so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
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When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
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