haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Randomize
