God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
