I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
