2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
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