Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Randomize
