Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
