I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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