That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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