since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
