dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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